Do you ever feel like you are having a tough time living up to the expectations that you have placed on yourself? Do you ever feel that your best, simply isn’t good enough? Have you ever come to the realization that you are not perfect? Well, the good news is, if you’re like me, you have aced this test!
As I poured forth effort this past week to study our small group’s weekly passage found in Acts 4, I was in awe of the spirit-filled life of the Apostle Peter. My awe of the life of Peter exemplified in Acts 4, left me cut to the heart. Here are two men, Peter and John, who are “uneducated and untrained”, whom are clearly recognized as having been with Jesus after speaking with authority to the religious leaders of the day. They were initially observed as confident (Acts 4:13) and later exemplified boldness (Acts 4:20). My heart concurs for this to be the reality of my life, but then I am left to an honest revelation that I am no where near that “bold”. To be utterly transparent, I often look a lot more like Peter in Mark 14:66-72 (i.e. cowardly denial). Ever been there?
Unfortunately (or fortunately) for my small group, I was unable to teach past the point where God is dealing with me. Sometimes my desire to appear “educated and trained” gets in the way of “being with Jesus” (can I get an “amen” from the fellow “type A’s”?). Notice this is the exact opposite of Peter and John in Acts 4:13. To put it plainly, I often seek out answers for questions instead of seeking the Person who answers.
So this is where I stand, needing to place myself under the authority of God’s word. To spend time daily with my savior to know the heart of God, while I ‘m left pleading to God for a fresh filling of the Holy Spirit. Not so that I would appear “educated and trained”, but so that I would appear as nothing but a vessel, and that I would only be recognized as one who has been with Jesus.
I must also realign my thinking for the questions that I opened this post with. For I should have no expectations but Jesus’ and because of Jesus I am “good enough” and one day I will be perfect (Revelation 21). Until then, I
put forth effort to be will make it my desire to be content with being recognized as having “been with Jesus”.
“Now as they observed the confidence of Peter and John and understood that they were uneducated and untrained men, they were amazed and began to recognize them as having been with Jesus” ~ Acts 4:13